The Lord has helped me learn how to work

まあ、日本語ができる。

People in line to go to the Shrine

ma- nihongo ga dekiru. 

Well, I can (speak) Japanese...

So... 

Let me try to explain, 

When I was in the MTC, when all my teachers only spoke Japanese, I was trying so hard to understand- but it's like trying to figure out the quadratic equation when you've never seen (done) math before. My head hurt constantly. 

I got in the field and like everyone feels, I couldn't speak at all- 

In my second transfer (a month and a half in Japan) I had a third transfer trainer. Both of us couldn't really speak Japanese, so we wandered the streets trying to understand what people were saying. To be honest I had no idea what they were saying, but by the tones of their voice and the afraid expressions on their faces I could tell they were  rejecting us. 

I was determined not to be beaten by this language. 

A friend,who was a return missionary from Sapporo Japan,  that I had in collage before my mission was talking with me about Japanese even before I got my mission call. 

"How was the Japanese?" I asked, knowing nothing other than that Japanese was supposedly hard. 

"It was awful." he told me "It wasn't until a year that I could understand what people were saying to me. Even after two years I couldn't really speak. I kept quiet most of the time and let my companions do all of the talking."

When I got the call to Sendai Japan, I was determined not to be beaten by the language, and put off studying really at all before I went into the MTC. I figured it'd come. 

At a couple months in, my Japanese wasn't coming- and I remembered the story my friend told me. He kept quiet... He let two years almost uselessly slide by, not because he wasn't willing to share the gospel, he wouldn't have left if he hadn't, but because he didn't beat the language. 

Now, you hear of the gift of tongues, and you might think just as I though., I thought some sort magic was going to occur. I thought I'd be standing there with someone that needed the message and magically I'd open my mouth and all the right words would spill forth- but one thing that I've learned- is that God with His infinite wisdom and power, will not do things for us that we can do for ourselves. We grow though overcoming trials, and the saving grace doesn't always kick in when we want it to, or think it ought to. 

I thought one night, laying on the floor, (that's how we sleep in Japan), and had what you might consider a Gordon B. Hinkley experience. I was thinking selfishly, and wondering why God had seeming left me all alone to waste my time. Every day, I tried my best during language study to learn, but it would all slip away the next day. Why aren't you helping me?! I asked in my wrath to God... 

Elder Uucdorf said "That spiritual light,rarely come to those who sit in darkness." 

I was certainly trying, but a little thought creeped into my head, at the time I didn't know, but now I know that it was from the Spirit of the Lord. 

'Are you doing ALL you can?'

Me and My Ramen

Missionaries only have a few precious hours a day of time to think.   There's the hour in the morning to shower and eat, the hour for both lunch and additional study, the hour in the evening for dinner, and the hour after planning for writing in the journal and prepping for bed. If you clever with your time, you can maybe have a few minutes to think during that time. 

That little bit of thinking time was precious to me... The question that came was "Are you doing ALL you can?" and I wondered... Am I really doing ALL I can...? 

We sometimes lull ourselves to think that we're doing enough, we don't need to give any more. 'I'm doing all I can!' 

but are we? 

I looked around and realized that there was something more that I could give. I could trade (as we all have to at some point) something that I want a little now, for something I want so much more later. 

So I made the trade. 

Every morning after exercise, a quick shower and breakfast, I started to study Japanese writing. During language study I study the grammar,(lunch and dinner I study what I feel is lacking) in the evening I memorize vocabulary and make flash cards upon flash cards, and during the day, I try to speak as much as possible. I started then and I still do it now. 

And though I still lack so much and am not even close to fluent. I'm better today than I was yesterday. And after looking back over 100's of days- I can see growth. I thank the Lord for letting me learn, and pushing me along the way.

Yep... that sounded like I'm bragging... I don't even know if I want to tell anyone other than family that or whatever.... 

But yep. The Lord has helped me learn how to work. 

On the train yesterday I stuck up a conversation with a girl about the snow, and she kept freaking out saying that I was fluent and stuff. Then right after she said that she said something that I didn't understand. Laugh. I've still got a long way to go. 

But ya, motometara, (in conclusion) 

yep. We've gotta work. 

Spiritually I'm still as stupid at a brick. I've learned a lot, and am leaps and bounds above who I used to be, but still am lacking so much. But hey, I think we get to the point when we are leaning to the more spiritual side. I've always thought I was pretty good stuff and knew a whole lot when I was further away from the Lord before my mission. The closer we get to Him, the more we realize that we suck and need Him so much. 

Yep. I hope that gives you something to work with.

A sister drew this picture of me for a newsletter

Ya, we visited Sasaki Kyodai again yesterday (the member in the hospital who speaks English).

He's taken a turn for the worse, and has an O2 mask and all that. He recognized us but couldn't really understand too much of what we were saying. His leg is all skin and bones. His eyes were wide with fear. 

The nurses said we could say long, and he just kept saying 'sacrament' over and over. 

So we did that, then he told us with tears in his eyes that he loved us and gave us handshakes- and we left.

He's only in his late 60's. Pray for him everyone. Brother Sasaki. 

We did a lesson with Myuto-kun. He says he half believes, half doesn't believe in God. It was a good lesson. We told him how he can know the truth. He said he'd pray every night to get an answer. 

He's such a little chub. I love Myuto-kun. He hugs us every time we come in and wraps his legs around us. He's funny. 

He couldn't come to church yesterday because he had a judo tournament. 

I can't type English correctly anymore. So I might have grammar mistakes. 

Uh... We tried to go to ZTM, but.. ya. There's was to much snow, so the train from hirosaki to aomori was down. We got to try again this week.

Yep. That's dendo. 

Peace out. 

Elder Wheelwright